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Introductory Letter
Dear brother & sister:How difficult is it to have meaningful, intimate relationships? What qualities should you look for in your soulmate? Is finding a good mate a matter of being lucky? Is it possible that you have not considered all you need to consider? Examine carefully the following Scriptures, which are the basis for the workshop you have desired to be a part of: Koinonia.
KOINONIA: greek for fellowship — partnership, i.e. (lit.) participation, or (social) intercourse [Social interchange; communication. Latin intercurrere, to mingle with.], or (pecuniary) benefaction:–(to) communicate (-ation), communion, (contri-), distribution, fellowship. Denotes our partnership in Christ, our communion with Him by His sanctifying work and His Spirit in us.
For you, my brother:
Be wise in choosing your mate and examine her wisdom, prudence and strength in the Lord! These things don’t come to you by chance, for a noble wife is hard to find!
(Proverbs 31:10) “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
(Proverbs 12:4) “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”
The phrase “a wife of noble character” is literally “a woman of strength” (hayil, Heb.). When used as an attribute of a person, the term suggests a person of great ability or inner resources (Proverbs 31:10; Genesis 47:6; Exodus 18:21; Ruth 3:11; 2 Samuel 17:10; 2 Kings 15:20). The reference to a “crown” suggests social status; i.e., she elevates her husband in the esteem of friends and neighbors through her strong character. The woman who brings her husband to ruin is compared to a disease which weakens the bodily frame. An unhappy marriage attacks the marrow of life, undermining and destroying happiness.
(Proverbs 14:1) “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
The woman has a unique role in building the home through the wisdom God makes available to her. The wise woman is characterized by prudent and industrious management, whereas the foolish woman is characterized by idleness and wastefulness, causing her home to suffer accordingly. How does your sister keep her house? How does she treat and act towards her own family members?
For you, my sister:
Be careful whom you decide to accept as your future mate! There is much to consider when looking for a godly man!
(Proverbs 20:6) “Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?”
(Proverbs 25:14) “Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of gifts he does not give.”
(Jude 1:12) “These men are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm–shepherds who feed only themselves. They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted–twice dead.”
Selfishness abounds in many men. This will be evident by the kind of lifestyle they live. Is his concern solely on his job, his house, his car, or how he looks in front of people? How giving is he? How does he express his generosity? How does he express his leadership in Christ? Is he able to make decisions? Does he have strong convictions about morality and truth?
(Proverbs 28:20) “A faithful man will be richly blessed, but one eager to get rich will not go unpunished.”
How do you see that the Lord has blessed this brother whom you are considering? How has this brother’s faithfulness been a blessing to others around him?
Brother and sister:
I’m sure you please each other in many ways, but at this workshop, we will dig deeply into areas that many couples overlook: the sphere of the Spirit and the emotions and passions that make us who we are. We will look for compatibility in these areas—for it is in these areas that lasting happiness will be found. Otherwise, you will become distracted with each other and loose your focus and dedication to your first love, your Lord and Savior, Jesus.
(1 Corinthians 7:32-35) “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs–how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world–how he can please his wife–and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world–how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”
The goal for you in choosing a mate is to live in undivided devotion to the Lord, that your house may reflect the glory of God and serve as a holy example in these days of evil. You will experience happiness unequal to any other in this world when you let the Lord and the Spirit be your guide, as opposed to your passions and emotions. Remember, just because you are emotionally involved with someone, or just because you like someone, doesn’t mean you should get married to him or her. Marriage is a very special relationship with a specific function in this world: to bring glory to God in the eyes of men by reflecting the relationship between Jesus and His Bride, the Church:
(Ephesians 5:23-32 NIV) For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church–for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Our workshop usually runs for 10 weeks on Saturdays from 11:00am to 12:30pm. Call us at 347-495-5022 or e-mail us for the location. I am honored to share with you the blessings Jesus has given me and to serve you in this capacity. Thank you for your interest and your faithfulness in Christ.
Your brother in Christ,
Pedro Gelabert
